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Archive for October, 2008

The Unfufilled Woman

Posted by justanotherstayathomemom on October 23, 2008

Read this (you will have to scroll down to read what anna wrote)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081021/hl_nm/us_suicide_usa#full

U.S. suicide rates appear to be on the rise, driven mostly by middle-aged white women, researchers reported on Tuesday.They found a disturbing increase in suicides between 1999 and 2005 and said the pattern had changed in an unmistakable way — although the reasons behind the change are not clear.  “The biggest increase that we have seen between 1999 and 2005 was the increase in poisoning suicide in women — that went up by 57 percent,” said Susan Baker, a professor in injury prevention with a special expertise in suicide. 

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States and Baker said the changes are substantial.  “Definitely these are not just little blips,” she said in a telephone interview. “We are looking at a big population change.”  She hopes other researchers will study the reasons behind the shifts. “I certainly think we need research to look at the information that we have on people who have committed suicide,” she said.

HMMMMM…this has my engines turning.  She’s right, ya know…we are expected to “do it all” according to the media, that is.  Have you watched soaps lately?  They are absolutely ridiculous..I myself havn’t watched one in awhile (oh, and by the way, Gray’s Anatomy, Nip/Tuck, Lipstick Jungle are soaps as well). 

Anna goes over many points about why women might be commiting suicide more.  I have some theories as well.  We are certainly expected to do more, but not in the way you might think…Yaya, housework and kids and stuff, but what about birthday cards?  and brownies for the church sale and having gorgeous skin and hair?  I, for one, and tired beyond tired of trying to fit into someone else’s mold.  I look at the mags at the store and shake my head because we are enamored with an illusion of what we are supposed to be. 

Case in point?  Angelina Jolie is on the cover of several mags in a tight fitting dress showing off her body after having twins 11 weeks ago.   What does this say to the average woman, me for example, who takes longer than 3 months to loose baby weight?  What about all those women who never do loose their baby weight?  We look at this and think we are supposed to be/do this, and we are NOT supposed to be/do this!  Any normal human will take 6 monts to a year to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.  I just now reached it and my baby is 6.5 months old…and things are NOT where they used to be, but who cares???  Will society judge me on my flabby belly?  You betcha! Do I care?  Not really.

Another thing is most women I come into contact with are working outside the home.  I am a total sexist when it comes to this…women should NOT work outside the home (or be cops, or in the army for that matter).  Mommies are supposed to be home when kids get off the bus, they are supposed the be at the soccer games, they are supposed to be their to kiss boo-boos on scuffed knees.  I am totally guilty of going to work, temporarily as it were,  when my newt was 18 months old.  Biggest mistake of my life.  Not only did we NOT get ahead financially, my poor guy got an ear infection so bad he had to have two surgeries and was hospitalized for 8 days!  I blame daycare for sure.  He also got mono, colds, and lots of fevers from so many dang germs floating around.  The kikker is that all the medical bills we had to pay afterward…it took us a year to pay them all off!  Take the cost of daycare out, med bills, many days off for sick leave, and  the money I made was not worth it.  The biggest cost is that I missed out on 1 1/2 years of my sons’ life cause I was only his parent for 2 full days a week. (shakes head) I thought I had to….should have just cut the cable, phone, and started eating beans and we might have made out alright.  Growing up, my mom worked so that is what I knew…now I know better!

We really have no one to show us how to be better moms and wives.  Women are crazy when it comes to “having it all”.  When I worked at a medical spa doing hair, they all had artificial nails, worked out at a gym (nothing wrong with that), their kids were in school or daycare, they went out for lunch, had their hair done every 4-6 weeks, pedicures….the list goes on.  They are spending and shopping and what are they doing that they can be proud of??  I mean besides being able to fit into a size whatever.   Many years ago, mothers were mothers and taught their daughters how to cook, clean, sew and run a house.  My mom taught me none of these things.  I remember her showing me how to make gravy once, and rice krispy treats, but teach me about cooking??  nope.  Her version of house keeping was to do a once a month cleaning.  I am now having to learn on my own how to really run a house and balance a budget (which i am NOT good at but still trying!)  My grandma taught me how to sew a little bit…some clothes for my doll.  We don’t value those old type skills anymore, y’know?

Another reason why women are killing themselves?  I think it has to do with ageism.  Older men don’t want older women, do they?  Older men want YOUNGER women, older women just want to be loved and treated with respect.  Case in point, my ex co-worker is older, 48, and she has never been married and has no kids.  She dates, but the man she really likes goes for someone else.  Why? she owns her own home, has a 401k, a good job, pays her own way…she is a threat to his manhood?  No, she’s not 25.  I think we, as a society, have gotten to where we don’t appreciate age anymore…look at Cher.  She doesn’t even look right anymore!  To much surgery to look youthful.  She just looks scary.  No one should look like that at the age of 60 something.  

Ahhhhh, my soapbox is getting a workout today.

A long time ago, we had families that ate dinner together every night.  We had kids who could entertain themselves with a ball and a stick for hours.  We had homes that were nice, but not showcases where you couldn’t relax.  A very long time ago, we lived on farms and actually knew where our food came from!  Lots of kids and lots of hard work.  Is society better because of our advances?  Some of our advances are fabulous, like penicillin and aspirin and electricity.  Some are downright terrible, like advertising and media influence. 

So, how do I become more fufilled as a woman?  Well, cook from scratch…there is something about kneading bread and watching it rise and then baking it that is just about the coolest thing ever.  I am making diapers from scratch.  I am taking walks with my kids around the neighborhood and enjoying the fresh air…we may even do a picnic next week at the park.  I am turning off the tv during the day and just hanging out with the kids while my silly 3 yr old shows me “his new trick”.  I am NOT going to look to the media to show me how I should look or dress or smell (or at least i will try my damdest not to). 

Try it with me…set yourself apart from the world, if only a little…

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-3

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Mother-in-law update

Posted by justanotherstayathomemom on October 22, 2008

My mother in law is doing great…already bitchin up a storm about her daughter who lives with her!  She had colon cancer, and silly me, I didn’t realize they were taking out her entire colon AND rectum, even though her tumore had dissapeared.  I didn’t know that!  When you have cancer you get the offending body part removed…I understand that, but I guess I just didn’t put two and two together…no matter what she was going to get a colostomy bag and her colon removed, it was just a matter of time.  She has already had breast cancer and beaten it, and now apparently colon cancer.  The tumor, by the way, “melted” from sight.  Her surgeon told my hubby that there was just a small scar where it used to be.  Praise the Lord because it is only because of His grace that she survived this!!  Now comes the biopsy.  They also took out some lymph nodes and will biopsy those to see if the cancer spread there.  Hopefully not.

She has been through alot and it would be nice for her to be healthy again.

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Honor thy mother?

Posted by justanotherstayathomemom on October 22, 2008

So, I just recieved a call from a lawyer…basically because my answering maching answered, they assumed I was my mother and proceeded to tell me that I have to call back with such and such claim number.  Now, this is not the first time a collection agency has called looking for my mom or step-father…this is, however, the first time a lawyer has called.  Methinks someone is in trouble!!  Well, they ask, as always, if I know how to reach her and I always give out her phone number.  My inner voice (ie God) warned me from giving out to much infor, and the guy asked “what happened to her” and I said, ” i dunno” and kept it light.  Then my inner voice said, honor thy mother and father…and now I am feeling guilty. 

I pay my bills, so why shouldn’t they?  Why should I have to put up with collection calls?  My hubby is a dr and it is very likely we will never be in collections….unless something terrible happens, so I am not going to put up with collectors.  On the other hand, my mom probably cannot afford to pay for whatever she is in collection on, and therefore isn’t able to make payments.  That being said…I know what will happen to this lawyer.  He will call, and she will answer, he will say “I am so and so from the law offices of” and she will hang up.  She will make a mental note of the number and never answer it again.  Why?  because when you owe someone money and can’t pay it back, the best thing to do is to ignore it and it will go away!  Right???

Anyway, I feel a little bad about the phone number thing, but then again, if they are lawyers, why can’t they find her number???  Maybe she is giving out false information on her credit apps?  I dunno and don’t want to.  I have paid off her credit cards before, to the tune of 9 grand (more if you count missed payment fees and interest), so I don’t have alot of sympathy for her because she has done this before, and if she can do it to her daughter, she can do it to a store…or something like that.  I am feel mean thinking and writing about it…but here I am writing and thinking it…I would like to quote scripture, like

“Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” (“Ἀπόδοτε οὖν τὰ Καίσαρος Καίσαρι καὶ τὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ τῷ Θεῷ”) (Matthew 22:21).

But that won’t work here…Jesus was talking about giving Caesar’s coin back to him because it had his image on it…and offensive to Jews because the coin refereced Caesar as being the divine son, bleh. 

I’m sure there is something I could find…maybe when my baby isn’t crying on the floor because his piano keeps turning over and he keeps trying to eat it.  His nickname right now is “crainkers” because he is cranky and winy and crying alot this week. 

Well, that was totally off topic!

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updates

Posted by justanotherstayathomemom on October 15, 2008

well, roo roo is now 6 monts old and i am happy to say he likes rice cereal…i am one of those weirdos who doesn’t give their babies’ any solids until the age of six months…and boy was he ready!!  he grabbed the spoon, ate the cereal and eagerly awaited his next bite… the next night i added in some formula for some sweetness and a little more cereal and he ate all of it and would’ve eaten more if i had it…he then had a full nursing session about an hour or so later…they boy can eat…i expect to see those much missed neck rolls again soon. 

i have decided to try out cloth diapers, and i am going to make them myself!  hah!!  hubby thinks i am nuts and wonders why i don’t just buy some more dipes….it’s a funny thing but i feel like God has been talking to me about some stuff….awhile back, like 3-4 months ago i get this feeling like i just want to check out of society.  i mean like i am tired of watching tv (we mainly watch the news and cartoons).  i dunno really, i got the feeling like life would be so much better if i didn’t have to go out into society and “the world” and all that….i know it sounds like i am outta my tree on this.  i guess i am tired of the way the world is lately.  lots of commercialism.  lots of buy-ism.  lots of “you gotta do/have/buy this to be happy.  i have been longing for a simpler life for several months now…i told hubby that we should buy some land and wouldn’t it be cool to have a small farm and some chickens and some fruit trees?  he said that would be a lot of work.  ugh (as he goes to surf the internet for a “new” suv gas guzzler, lol)  i dunno,  i have been reading lots of bible prophecy stuff and it would be nice to know that i could take care of my family if the “grid” went down, or something like that.  right now all i can do, since i live in suburbia, is start with cloth dipes and wipes….oh, and way less tv…which is driving newt crazy since he looooooves cartoons.  i usually give in because i don’t know what else to do with him, but i know that if i stopped the tv watching he would get better at playing by himself.

the hurricane damaged our roof and fence…just over 3 grand in repairs…how much is our deductable you ask??? 3 grand…oh yeah!  where is this money going to come from???  why hubby is gonna work lots of night clinic so we can fix and repair…great, more time alone with out husband…i love residency and being some 180 thousand in debt…it’s great!…only 8 1/2 more months to go…

my mom-in-law is having part of her colon removed this morn…cancer.  i prayed that it would be gone and that her surgeons would have steady hands (hopefully they won’t leave any tools or towels in her either…to many discovery health specials on that subject!)

made some tortillas with coconut oil last night and they are great.  coconut oil is a fabulous substitute for shortening.  it is naturally solid at room temperature, which means in here in texas it is mostly semi-solid.  i works great in biscuits too.  i can report no coconut flavor, at least in the louanna brand from wally-world.  i have been using an organic kind on my face at night as moisturizer for ummmm….10 months or longer and it is great and cheap.  no breakouts from having pure oil on my face and it absorbs rather quickly too.  it’s pretty cheap considering an 8$ jar has lasted me this long and i have at least another 6 months of oil to go.  i have been using way less make-up too.  i dunno if this is part of that “tired of consuming” attitude i have had for awhile now, but it is so nice to not worry about it.  i do wear some for church, and occasionally for dr’s apt’s and such…but for the most part i have naked face. 

sooo, with that, i am gonna be printing lots and lots today to get ready for stuff…what that is i dunno yet.  i will post something on that later. 

until then, take care, and keep some cash on hand! (and some food for that matter)

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