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Christmas: the first of three

Posted by justanotherstayathomemom on December 23, 2008

well, we will have 3 Christmas celebrations this year, as we have multiple family members that don’t/won’t get along and so we have to spend time with them all, separatly….oiy

we spent a ton of money on presents this year mostly because hubby worked a LOT of extra night clinic so we could have more cash to spend for gifts and stuff…he is a very generous guy and i think after so many years of being cash strapped from school and stuff, he really is ready to spend and give and have some fun.  he is even taking his father to the cotton bowl game on jan 2, the first ever for either and they are both very excited!  i am happy for him.

so, my point of this post is….why did i mentally add up how much they spent against what we spent?  because i am selfish and a brat.  that pretty much sums it up.  hubby did it too.  we both spent hours shopping, happily, looking for things to buy them.  i went by myself with the two littles at 8:30 am to bed, bath, and beyond to get a few more things, and then to toy r us….they did great, we didn’t fight large crowds and no tears from newt cause he didn’t get a toy…although i did buy him some new play-doh so he could mix them together(his latest addiction). 

i am almost always disapointed by christmas gifts because they are always so thoughtlessly given.  we got a gift card, a gift card, and a gift card.  we didn’t even get to open anything  (i lied, i got to open one present, some placemats from another in-law).  we DO NOT like gift cards.  our niece and nephew didn’t even say thank you for the nintendo ds games, pixos, and magnetix toys we got them….they opened, tossed aside and opened the next….didn’t even really smile or say wow…of course they liked the ds games….so do the parents, by the way….when they play them they are quiet and the parents get free time (that is a separate issue that i have with parents not really parenting). 

hubby and i think said children are brats, spoiled at that.  they have lots of everything and very few limits. 

we need to agree on what we want for our two boys.  how do we do that? 

anyway, that is off topic.   back to the subject at hand.  i did a mental count and we outspent them 3 to 1 and we recieved no joy from it.  because the children went thru the presents so fast, i couldn’t enjoy them looking at them, parents the same.  everyone pretty much opened at the same time, except us cause we didn’t get presents, we got cards, ugh. 

like i said, i’m being selfish.  i wanted to get some joy from watching them…and i got none. 

why do we celebrate this way?  why is christmas so joyless?  why?  hmmmmmm….

now, when we have our own family christmas opening it will be much better cause our 3 yr old will get all the presents and have time to look at them and play with the toys before rushing to the next one. 

when did christmans become so unfun?  i mean, it’s like the more the better.  let’s just open open open and not appreciate or be thankful for what we just recieved.  well, the parents teach them this by buying them to many things.  this is something hubby and i have talked about.  since he is a doc, it will be very easy for us to go overboard, but we will not because we don’t want this for our boys….not at all….i see it all the time…brats everywhere….unappreciative…unthankful….expecting more and more each year….more and more…where does it end?????  does it end???

this is when i say i, again, want to check out from society and move to the country and forget tv because i am t.i.r.e.d. of it all.  tired of seeing the demise of our families on tv and in the church.  tired.  so tired. 

they already have valentines crap out!  can you imagine?  ridiculous….preposterous…..ugh. 

(i have other issues with valentines too, by the way…)

so, here i am asking myself, why did i do a mental tally of money spent?  why do we give presents if there is no joy to be gotten from it? why do we give presents at all?  who started that?  oh, yeah, like most everything  we do at christmas time, it started with the pagans, yeah!  I bet God really likes that, huh? 

i’m starting to question lots of things, and this is good because i will grow from it, but it is also bad because it will likely cause some tension in the family if/when i push the issue….hubby likes to ignore most of these things…i will have to take it slowly with him if i want to change the way our family celebrates (which i do). 

now, tommorow, christmas part 2 with my mom and step dad….yeah (she says with sarcasm in her voice cause her mom humg up on her a week ago when she couldn’t go to mom’s house on mom’s schedule and mom got mad and hung up…)

2 Responses to “Christmas: the first of three”

  1. Rachel said

    I remember as a kid that my uncle and his wife spent a lot of money one Christmas on presents for us and the whole family. I think it’s possible that uncle and his wife didn’t get much from us because my parents didn’t have much to give. I remember hearing the whispers and comments about that.

    It’s been some time since you wrote this post. Have you diagnosed why you felt the way you did and why you measured what you spent versus what others spent?

    It’s too bad you couldn’t just give generously and enjoy their thankfulness (because they didn’t have it). So too bad they didn’t enjoy your gift.

    A good reminder that we should enjoy the gifts we are given as it gives joy to the Giver of Life.

    • justanotherstayathomemom said

      hi! and yes…i do think i know why i was so dissapointed with the whole thing. we havn’t felt like a part of the family for a long time, since we had to move away for 4 years for hubby’s school, and when we came back, we have only seen family very little. they rarely come to visit and rarely invite us over, even for kids bday parties or 4th of july and such (this could be a whole post in itself…why families are no longer family). i said all that because gift cards are so thoughtless….why not just give me some cash? i feel like if we were more a part of the family then they would take the time to give us a present instead of a gift card. the fact that we spent more was only noticed because it was a gift card instead of a thing. i would much rather get a 15$ gift than a 100$ gift card because i don’t like knowing what people spent. my mom always used to tell me what stuff cost her when i would compliment her on something…”i like you new shirt mom”…”oh, i got it at the flea market for 2 bucks”…ugh, it drove me crazy! i hope some of that makes sense…it’s like we don’t matter enough to spend the time to get an actual gift…we are just someone else on their list and not important enough to think and spend time and shop and wrap and enjoy giving a gift too. anyway…i hope that answers your question…and yes, i have some self reflection to do. incidentally, while we were at in-laws house on christmas eve, they opened gifts for the kids and brother in law got a gift of chickens donated to a poor villager in another country and he said a gift like that was fine. he took about 4 secs to look at it and put the card down. then they talked about how he had gotten a goat another christmas and a cow was to expensive. he didn’t even LOOK at it!!! just a glance. i dunno…the joy was gone from this holiday because we let it get away…it was all of our faults.

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